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Figuring it Out

Like I mentioned previously, part of starting over is my diet and lifestyle. Particularly going back to my Pescatarian eating style where I had so much success. I’ve also recently become intrigued with macros. Learning what my healthy carbohydrates, proteins and fats ratios look like, and eating accordingly. I started using my Lose It app on the macros setting to focus on balance (rather the imbalance and correcting it). Pescatarianism while counting macros feels like the right path to take for me. I started my new eating habits a couple of weeks ago. And I had a good week of tracking and getting the hang of macros. Then I fell off that wagon for a few days after my beautiful grandson was born. Too much time in the hospital, fatigue and a major shift in routine threw me off course. But, I’m recommitting and gearing up for success now! (And seriously, what a wonderful reason to fall off the wagon. He is perfection!) I’m back on track now. So, here on out I will focus on, no prioritize,
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Hormone Replacement Therapy

Part three. I saw my doctor a few weeks ago. Like usual, I cried through most of the appointment. She could clearly see the emotional state I’ve been in, and suggested I try low dose hormone replacement therapy. I had heard from a few friends it really helped them. And though I read some downfalls to HRT, there are also some compelling and appealing positives that are greater than the negatives. So I decided to try HRT. Fast forward to today… I’ve been taking low dose Estradiol and Progesterone for a few weeks. I’m noticing some improvement with hot flashes and night sweats. I’m feeling a tiny bit more energy some days. My mood swings are a little less frequent. And I’m crying a lot less (yay)! So I’m thinking the HRT is working. The downside to this is I’ve started bleeding, like a period. Really wasn’t expecting to buy ANYMORE tampons in my life! But there I was, in the store feminine hygiene aisle, scooping up a box of tampons for myself thinking “Oy vey”. But, I’m sticking with it
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Hormonal Hell (Part Two)

While I happily haven’t had a period in almost eight months, I’m questioning my younger self for wanting to trade periods in for menopause. I honestly don’t know that the alternative to periods is any better! The past two months my menopause symptoms have become much worse. Some days I liken menopause to climbing Mount Everest. Like I’m fighting to reach the peak with legs that feel weighted down. Quite literally steps are like trudging through knee high mud. I’m so tired. As a result my energy is low. It takes all I have (and some that I don’t) to be remotely active after work. Going for an easy walk is a big feat. It saddens me greatly to see how much I’ve changed this year. Mentally and physically. I’ve gained a whopping 30 pounds from this day last year. That’s friggin’ unacceptable! I’m gobsmacked I allowed this to happen. To say this plays a role in my mental state of despair and sadness is an understatement. This is a viscous cycle. My body hurts and I’m exhausted, so I don’t ex
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I’m In Hormonal Hell

I’m going to cram the last seven months into a few blog posts. This is part one. I mentioned in my last post I cried over lettuce. It was a serious trigger. But, when you’re a prisoner in the hormonal hell of menopause, it’s never “just lettuce”. Menopause is the grandest climatic ride that’s controlled by unstable whacked out hormones. And there is no panic switch. We’re stuck with the intense mood swings, “meno-crying”, anxiety, depression, body aches, hot flashes, sweating, headaches, insomnia, fatigue, brain fog, low libido, dry itchy skin, panic attacks, and weight gain. What a fun ride this is (NOT). Yes, I really do experience ALLL of them. Every-stinking-one. Some days I meno-cry several times for, well, no reason. Or a reason so insignificant a “normal” person wouldn’t bat an eye at. Like lettuce, for example. That became “my joke” when the only dinner choice that fit into my eating preferences was an extremely overpriced bowl of lettuce at an outdoor concert. Just mixed green
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Starting Over

 Ok, starting over might be a little dramatic. I’m not starting over in the sense “something went wrong and I need a fresh start”. There hasn’t been a major life event warranting a fresh start (still happily married). But, starting over feels appropriate at the moment. For several reasons. First, I’m in a ridiculous place in my life, menopause! I say ridiculous because it IS ridiculous. Not one aspect of this feels normal, or balanced, or remotely appealing. The emotions alone are so absurd that my “joke” is I cry over lettuce (sad but it happened. Will get to that later.). Second, yet again I find myself starting over with trying to live a healthy lifestyle. This is a true lifelong yo yo for me. It’s tiring! And maddening! I was at my goal weight last year. I was doing great! Then, some holidays, a couple of vacations, and lots of unhealthy habits landed me a 30 pound weight gain. THEN, the icing on the cake (probably literally because I ate it) is menopause making it even harder to m
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